One of those days

I don't usually get personal and sentimental on my blog, but today I'm feeling exceptionally poetic. Maybe it's the rain or the holidays or the fact that I only slept four hours last night. Maybe it's because the year is drawing to a close. It's one of those days that I want to freeze and put in a box to remember for the rest of my life.

I'm listening to Bing Crosby's rendition of Silver Bells. Drinking coffee mixed with soy nog. The only light in my room comes from the three monitors on my desk and the gloomy pseudo-light leaking through the thick layer of clouds above.

A year ago I moved to LA (Dec. 25, 2009, to be exact). I came here knowing nothing. I wasn't officially a Publish2 employee yet, but it was promising. I was two weeks out of college. I was wide-eyed and naive (and probably still am, although I hate to admit it). My first night in LA was on Christmas. I slept in an empty apartment alone in the dark with a bag of trail mix and a sleeping bag. I didn't know what I wanted to do, where I was headed in life, or whether LA was where I wanted to be -- but I knew I had a job, and that was all that mattered.

I've learned so much since then.

I've learned how to have friends, both new and old. I've learned how to be understanding and patient. I've learned to expect the worst and hope for the best. I've learned to balance. I've learned to say no. I've learned who to trust. I've learned how to purge toxic people from my life. I've learned to let my family back in. I've learned how to manage my finances. I've learned how to drive in LA. I've learned how to parallel park. I've learned how to choose my battles. I've learned how to travel. I've learned how to be untouchable.

I still don't know what path I want to venture down in life and I still don't know where I'll be a year from now, six months from now, or even two weeks from now.

But today is one of those days. I know I'll look back on this very moment as a defining point in my life.

The rain is pouring down for the sixth day straight and I know that when the sun comes out, I'll be ready for it.